1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:01,235 . 2 00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:05,806 - Am I looking weak to you? 3 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:08,776 - "Hey, Garrett, 4 00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,044 how was your day?" 5 00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:12,280 That's how normal people start a conversation. 6 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:15,015 - When I was management, I had power. 7 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,185 Why did I give that up? 8 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,752 We were number one in shrink reduction 9 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:20,654 and last in employee satisfaction. 10 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:21,989 I did that. 11 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:26,260 Now the world just seems dull or something. 12 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,129 - [yelling in pain] - Guys? 13 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,398 - Okay. Time to go to the hospital? 14 00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:32,500 - I don't think I'm gonna make it to the hospital. 15 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,335 I think I'm having this baby here. 16 00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:35,869 - Okay. We need towels. 17 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,572 Someone run to the store and buy some towels! 18 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:39,707 No, wait! We're a store! 19 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,041 Get some towels! - On it. 20 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,376 - You're not gonna have the baby in the store. 21 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,977 You have plenty of time, Chey. 22 00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:45,379 - And it could be false labor. 23 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,681 You know? That's called a Braxton Hicks contraction. 24 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,683 - This baby is not gonna be born in Cloud 9. 25 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:50,918 - Maybe it's Braxton Hicks. 26 00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:53,020 - Okay, we get it. You know the term Braxton Hicks. 27 00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,088 We're all very impressed. 28 00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:56,424 - No, I'm having this baby here. 29 00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,525 [screams] 30 00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:58,892 - Okay, this is it! 31 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,628 This is happening! 32 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,230 - I feel nothing. 33 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,631 - Attention, shoppers. 34 00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:06,200 Is there a doctor in the-- 35 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,701 Who am I kidding? This is Cloud 9. 36 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,903 Anybody here watched a lot of "Grey's Anatomy?" 37 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,139 Maybe "Nurse Jackie"? 38 00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:12,773 Not "The Knick." 39 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,142 - Towels. Towels. Towels. 40 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:18,512 Oh. 41 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,949 - Move! Pharmacist coming through. 42 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:24,185 Step aside. I need room. 43 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,619 All right, Cheyenne. 44 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,588 I need you to listen to me here, and we will get through this. 45 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,022 Now, in the last 24 hours, 46 00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:30,691 have you taken any medication I need to know about. 47 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,160 - Just some Tums. 48 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,661 - Calcium carbonate. That's fine. 49 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:35,163 It's not gonna harm the baby. 50 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:36,530 All right. 51 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:37,965 - Okay, yeah. That's it? 52 00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,200 - Well, yeah. 53 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,601 I'm a pharmacist. 54 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,203 I don't know how to deliver a baby. 55 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,204 Gross. 56 00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,173 But, um, good luck. 57 00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:46,274 [applause] 58 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:47,341 My training kicked in. 59 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,177 You're welcome, everyone. 60 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:50,611 - [moaning in pain] 61 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,012 - Okay, that's good. 62 00:01:52,012 --> 00:01:54,482 If the contractions are longer, that means you're in-- 63 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:57,951 it's called active labor, so I guess you're in active labor. 64 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,055 I'm gonna go get some stuff. 65 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,392 - Okay, look. I took part in a cow birth once. 66 00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:06,894 The calf died, but I learned what not to do. 67 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:07,928 - No, no, no, no. 68 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,096 - [yelling in pain] 69 00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,832 - Ah, no. Yes. 70 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,935 Will we need cotton balls? 71 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,005 I'll get cotton balls. 72 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:20,073 - No, no. 73 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,576 Ooh, yes. 74 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,745 - Cheyenne, I want you to wait until 75 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,681 you have an uncontrollable urge to push, okay? 76 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:30,718 And then, you're gonna bear down with all your strength 77 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:33,053 for ten seconds at a time, okay? 78 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:34,822 - I can't believe you know how to handle this. 79 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:38,226 - Well, I played the abortion doctor in a Hell house once. 80 00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:39,427 - Oh, cool. - If it helps, 81 00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:42,263 I'm a trained midwife. 82 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:46,734 - [yelling in pain] 83 00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:49,270 - Garrett, you're filming this? - Yeah, for Bo. 84 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,704 I figured he'd want to see it. - All right. 85 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:51,705 Can everyone else back up? 86 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,441 This is a private moment. 87 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:56,477 - [yelling in pain] 88 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,781 - You're doing great. 89 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,883 I'm right here. - Excuse me, miss. 90 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:06,454 What's the difference between a sunblock and a sunscreen? 91 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,056 - This is it! The baby's coming! 92 00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,525 - [yelling in pain] 93 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:14,895 [yelling in pain] 94 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,297 - All right. That's nice. 95 00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:17,565 I like that. I like that. 96 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,601 Oh, okay. 97 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,436 - Yeah, this is it, guys. 98 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,472 It's coming. This is the moment. 99 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,274 - Oh, um... 100 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,143 The contractions stopped. 101 00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,713 - Oh. - That's, um--huh. 102 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,548 Braxton Hicks, I guess. It's false labor. 103 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:38,786 - I guess it should put on my pants now. 104 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:44,758 [upbeat music] 105 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,894 * 106 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,429 - The company's targeted maneuvers 107 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:51,031 are also a direct reflection of its mission. 108 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,735 It reads, "Cloud 9's mission statement is a lower price point 109 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,504 creates a--" Okay, I'm sorry. 110 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,506 Cheyenne? You okay? 111 00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:00,408 - [gasps] I'm fine. 112 00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:02,175 [gasps] I just-- [gasps] 113 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,845 the baby's compressing my lungs--[gasps] 114 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:08,081 and making it really hard for me to just take a full breath. 115 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,850 [breathes loudly] 116 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,886 But I'm okay. - No, you're not okay. 117 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,522 You almost gave birth to your child 118 00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:15,823 in the store yesterday. 119 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,691 - Yeah, dude, I wish I had an excuse 120 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:18,926 this good to ditch work. 121 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,060 - I can't go home. 122 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,029 I need the hours, you know? 123 00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,797 For this little girl. 124 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,533 [gasps] Oh! 125 00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:28,336 - Did it kick? - No, I just-- 126 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:31,705 I touch myself here and it makes me pee a little bit. 127 00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:35,476 - Oh. - This is ridiculous. 128 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,678 She shouldn't have to kill herself just to have a baby. 129 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:40,881 Did you guys know that in every other first-world nation, 130 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:43,150 paid maternity leave is just automatic? 131 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,418 - Whoa, no, no, you are not 132 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,420 gonna forward us another article. 133 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:49,990 - Oh! Oh, that was a big one. 134 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,759 - These meetings are worse from up here. 135 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:14,081 Each of us would officially take a sick day, 136 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,115 but we'd still come in, 137 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,717 and we'd clock in as Cheyenne, 138 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,819 so that she can take the day off, but still get paid. 139 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:19,853 - Right. 140 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:22,089 And she can just pay us back later? 141 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,225 - Cloud 9 made over a billion dollars last year. 142 00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:27,395 Why don't we just ask them to pay for maternity leave? 143 00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:29,897 - Oh, you want to just call corporate and ask them? 144 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,064 That sounds easy. 145 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,466 - It's worth a shot, isn't it? 146 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:34,402 I mean, what's the worst they can do, say no? 147 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:37,170 [phone line trilling] 148 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,606 - Employee services. 149 00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:42,676 - Hi, this is Amy Dubanowski from store 1217. 150 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,679 We have an employee here who's about to have a baby, 151 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,415 and I was wondering if maybe we could get her 152 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,082 some paid maternity leave. 153 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:52,219 - I'm sorry, we don't offer paid maternity leave. 154 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,587 - Don't just give up. 155 00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,156 - Well, some of us 156 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:59,092 were wondering if you could change that policy, 157 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,829 because we really want it. 158 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:05,533 - Um, that's just not something we offer. 159 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,468 - Okay, but is it, like, a conversation 160 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:08,702 you guys are having? 161 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,872 Because I know other big companies do offer it. 162 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,807 Typically, their employees would be in unions. 163 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,342 - Transferring now. Please hold. 164 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:17,811 - What are you doing? 165 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,112 Why would you say that? 166 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,014 - Say what? - Hi there, Amy. 167 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,484 This is Jeremy, vice president of employee relations. 168 00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:26,454 - Hi. I don't know exactly-- 169 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:29,122 - Do me a solid and hang tight for one second, Aim. 170 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,258 - What's happening? - I don't know. 171 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,460 - Please hold for Greg. 172 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,495 - Who's Greg? Why are we getting Greg? 173 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,229 - Go for Greg. - Hey, it's Jeremy. 174 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,766 I've got Rebecca from legal and Amy from store 1217, 175 00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,200 where we've got that union problem. 176 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,469 - Oh, no! No. - No. 177 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,637 - We were talking about maternity leave 178 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,940 and somebody very annoying mentioned the word "union." 179 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:50,377 - Whoa, let's just all calm down, take a breath, 180 00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,579 step back from the ledge. 181 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:52,646 - No, no, no, no. 182 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:53,881 - No, there's no ledge. 183 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:56,584 Nobody's talking about unions. - No way. 184 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,619 - And nobody's going on strike. 185 00:06:58,619 --> 00:06:59,620 - Please hold. 186 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,355 [soft jazz music] 187 00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,124 - Yeah, hi. Okay, you've got Howard, 188 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,494 Sue, Cheryl, Keith, Guillermo... 189 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:07,961 - That's so many people. - Renee, and Alan here. 190 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,830 all: Hello. 191 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,031 - Hi. - Hi. 192 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,866 - Okay, hang tight down there, 1217. 193 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,234 We're sending someone down to you 194 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,268 first thing tomorrow morning. 195 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,269 - No. - Good stuff? 196 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,270 - No, no, no, no, wait, wait. 197 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,606 - You don't have to do that. 198 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:19,973 all: Bye. - Amazing talk. 199 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,008 [click] 200 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,511 - Wow. 201 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:28,682 . 202 00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:31,251 - Morning, everyone. Grab some coffee. 203 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,556 Help yourself to a doughnut hole. 204 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,591 - You see what's going on here, right? 205 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,528 Corporate smells trouble, so they send in a shark. 206 00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:42,896 A big, swinging wiener. 207 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,998 Have him swing his wiener around a little. 208 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,767 Give us a slap on the wrist. 209 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:50,370 A little rap on the knuckles from a big, swinging wiener. 210 00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:52,940 - This is gonna be a long day. 211 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,676 - Yeah. 212 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,277 - Hello, 1217. 213 00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:00,548 My name is Steve. 214 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:02,816 Does anyone here know who I am? 215 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,385 - I know. A union buster. - Good one. 216 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:07,454 I'm gonna remember that one. Funny. 217 00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:10,257 No, I am a labor relations consultant. 218 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:11,892 Cloud 9 isn't anti-union. 219 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,326 Unions are great for people 220 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,828 whose companies don't listen to them. 221 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,463 But whatever your concerns are, 222 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:18,966 you can always bring them right to corporate any time. 223 00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:21,134 - Oh, great. Some of us did have some concerns 224 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,603 that I wanted to ask you about. 225 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,037 - And I want to hear about them. 226 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,406 But first, we're gonna have some fun. Yeah? 227 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,677 Has everyone gotten some coffee and a doughnut hole? 228 00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,912 Now we're going to do a little role-playing exercise, 229 00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:34,314 and I've roped in your manager, Glenn, here to help me out. 230 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,985 Um, okay. Thank you. 231 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:40,087 You're gonna play a union organizer, 232 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:42,990 and you're gonna try to get me to sign this union card. 233 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,157 Okay? - Sure. 234 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,426 - All right. - Hi, hello. 235 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,796 My name's Steve, and the union-- - Okay. 236 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:49,797 You know what? You're doing great. 237 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,031 But my name is Steve, 238 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,432 so that might be a little confusing for everyone. 239 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,401 So maybe pick another name. 240 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,803 - Okay, sure. Sorry. 241 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,237 I'm just a little nervous. - You're doing great. 242 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,739 - All right. Um, hi. 243 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,609 My name's...Steve. 244 00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:02,810 - All right. 245 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,344 I'm gonna be the Steve in this scene, right? 246 00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:05,813 So... - All right, all right. 247 00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,247 You're Steve. 248 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,481 Okay. 249 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,283 Sorry, misunderstanding. - You're doing great. 250 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,752 - Okay. All right. 251 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,020 Hello there, Steve. 252 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,956 My name's... 253 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,827 Steve. 254 00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:20,928 - Literally, you know what? 255 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,063 Any other name in the entire universe? 256 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,639 - Steve. 257 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:32,673 - Okay, you know what? 258 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,341 Let's give Glenn a round of applause. 259 00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:35,643 You did great. 260 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,178 No worries. All right. 261 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,747 Maybe a different volunteer. 262 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,749 How about you with the purple polo? 263 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,516 Thank you for that, Dina. 264 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,518 Dina's gonna be our union organizer, 265 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,921 and she's gonna try to get me to sign this union card. 266 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,658 Let's see if Dina is up for the challenge. 267 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,695 - Okay. Hey, how'd you like to join a union? 268 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,563 - No, thanks. I don't need to. 269 00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:59,566 Cloud 9 already listens to my concerns. 270 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:00,801 - I really think it'd be in your best interests 271 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:01,802 to sign this card. 272 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,303 - Please don't bully me. 273 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:06,239 I do not need to pay someone to speak for me. 274 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,975 See? I shut her down. 275 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,342 Those are two examples. 276 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:10,744 - Stop interrupting me. 277 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,846 You will sign this card or I will choke the life out of you. 278 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,081 - Whoa. Wow. 279 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,684 And the Oscar goes to Dina. Right? 280 00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:18,185 See, she was playing a character there that was-- 281 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,552 - Oh, I'm not playing a character. 282 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,756 This is me, Dina, talking to you, union buster Steve. 283 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:23,991 I'm in a dark place right now, 284 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,193 and quite frankly, I have nothing left to lose. 285 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,895 So you will sign this [bleep] card, 286 00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,396 or I will be waiting for you in the parking lot 287 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:30,964 at the end of the night, where I will wrap my hands 288 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,532 around that tiny chicken neck of yours 289 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,968 and stare deep into your eyes while I watch the lights go out. 290 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:38,739 - Let's take a break. 291 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:41,108 [coffee pot sputters] 292 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,977 - You want some of mine? 293 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,617 - Hey. Hey, man. 294 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:54,654 Just want to let you know, I know names besides Steve. 295 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,856 - Of course you do. 296 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:58,191 - There's Glenn, and there's, um... 297 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,730 - [mouthing] 298 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,464 - Steve. 299 00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:07,868 Thanks for your time. 300 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,904 - Now you have the facts. 301 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:14,174 How you choose to use them is up to you. 302 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,110 Thank you. - Oh, thank you, God. 303 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,345 - I know, right? 304 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,579 - Excuse me, sorry. 305 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:22,449 Sorry, guys, but you had said earlier that maybe we 306 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,484 could voice some concerns at the end of the meeting? 307 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:25,819 - Thank you, Jonah. 308 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:26,987 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Absolutely. 309 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,422 Cloud 9 has an open door policy. - Great. 310 00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:32,359 So a couple of us were talking about the possibility 311 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,928 of paid maternity leave for the employees? 312 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:37,630 - You know, Cloud 9 is devoted to supporting the welfare 313 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,232 and values of all of its workers. 314 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,901 Okay? Thanks. 315 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,670 - Could you be a little more specific? 316 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,005 - I love this. - Great. 317 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:47,908 - We love this kind of passion and integrity 318 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,843 that adds to all the colors of the cloud. 319 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,813 - Great, but you're not actually saying anything. 320 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:55,315 - That's because I'm truly listening. 321 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,583 You know what I just realized? 322 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,786 We have enough doughnut holes for all of you 323 00:11:58,786 --> 00:11:59,920 to have one more each! 324 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,790 Right? Dig in, everyone. 325 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:06,960 . 326 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:14,467 - That meeting was such a joke. 327 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,038 They're not going to do anything for Cheyenne. 328 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,139 They don't care. 329 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,640 - You're just realizing that now. 330 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,143 This company, that wouldn't even spring for full doughnuts, 331 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,444 just doughnut holes? 332 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,646 - It's not just about Cheyenne. 333 00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:27,915 It's about all of us. 334 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,383 We're the people that make this company run. 335 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,820 They need to start treating us better. 336 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,522 Like Mateo--what was it you were complaining about yesterday? 337 00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:36,523 - Oh. - Remember? 338 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:37,690 - Yeah. 339 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,860 Why are our customers so ugly? - Mm, yeah. 340 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:43,063 - No, how they keep us under 40 hours 341 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,597 so they don't have to give us benefits? 342 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,000 - Oh, right, yeah. That sucks too. 343 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,036 - I haven't had a raise in five years. 344 00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,404 - There you go. - I mean, not to complain. 345 00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:52,605 Sorry, I'm babbling. 346 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,074 Sorry. - No, no. 347 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,076 We should be speaking up about this. 348 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,745 It's like we don't have any leverage. 349 00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:01,681 You know, maybe we should form a union. 350 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,183 - Okay, calm down. 351 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,919 - Dude, you can't get everybody here to agree to join a union. 352 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,922 We couldn't even agree on a theme for our summer barbecue. 353 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,124 Ended up being "1980s Arabian Nights 354 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,625 Under The Sea Harry Potter." 355 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,462 - So you just want everything to stay exactly the same? 356 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,496 That's ridiculous! 357 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,031 What if Rosa Parks-- 358 00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:19,066 - Whoa. - Got it. 359 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:20,400 Amped up, sorry. 360 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,571 - Look at him. Mister big pants. 361 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:27,875 Just waiting for us to slip up so he can bring the hammer down. 362 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,277 - I think he's just having a coffee. 363 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,145 - Oh, come on. 364 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,214 Mister big pants. 365 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:37,350 Just swinging that big old wiener around. 366 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,685 - And we're back to wiener. 367 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,023 - Here. 368 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,892 I was told to hand you these to read, 369 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,559 'cause that's my job now. 370 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,128 I drop off pieces of paper. 371 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,898 Look at that. 372 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,399 Nailed it. 373 00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:55,402 - Hey, you want to read one? - Me? 374 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,337 - I mean, it's not exactly like being the boss, 375 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,940 but it has sort of a voice of God quality about it. 376 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,341 Everyone has to listen to you. 377 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,447 - Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers. 378 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,382 We are offering a 10% discount 379 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,684 on all wrapping paper and gift bags. 380 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:15,622 Come check out this heavenly deal. 381 00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,958 Oh. - Feels powerful, right? 382 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,993 - No, I just never realized my voice 383 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,662 had just such a weak, tinny quality. 384 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,831 - No, you've got a nice voice. 385 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:27,267 - No, you've succeeded in humiliating me. 386 00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,102 [mocking] "You've succeeded in humiliating me." 387 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,603 That's me. That's what I sound like. 388 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:31,604 - You don't sound anything like-- 389 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:32,705 - Stop making me talk. 390 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,007 This is a nightmare. 391 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,977 - "Intent to unionize." - Yep. 392 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,812 - "International Brotherhood of Sanitation Workers." 393 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,014 - I printed it off the web. 394 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,349 I'm gonna cross that out and write "Cloud 9." 395 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,484 - I'm sorry, were you not at that extremely long 396 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:45,718 and early meeting this morning? 397 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,188 - Yeah, I was, and all it did was confirm 398 00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:51,124 that nothing is gonna change around here unless we change it. 399 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,760 If you want to help Cheyenne, this is the way to do it. 400 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,162 - No, this is stupid. 401 00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:56,496 - It's worth a shot. 402 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,032 - No. That's what you said about calling corporate 403 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,500 in the first place. 404 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,970 Not everything is worth a shot. - I'm sorry. 405 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,805 I'm not the kind of person who just stands by doing nothing 406 00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:07,640 while people around me need help. 407 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,277 - Oh. Okay. Yeah, I get it. 408 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:13,880 You have an image of your head of leading all the workers out 409 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,349 in some dramatic walkout, 410 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,118 and you're gonna bring down the man. 411 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,886 But let me tell you something. 412 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,788 Real people's jobs are at stake. 413 00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,423 - I am so sick and tired 414 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,093 of being painted as the stupid idealist 415 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,860 while you get to be the smart, pragmatic one. 416 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,329 - I'm not saying you're stupid. 417 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,531 I'm saying you don't know how the real world works. 418 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,900 - There's a difference between not knowing how the real world 419 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,803 works and not having the guts to do something about it. 420 00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,671 - Oh, okay. - Is she having her baby? 421 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,307 - [cries out] 422 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,442 - Yeah, I think so. - We should-- 423 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:46,113 . 424 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:50,783 - Oh, Cheyenne, she's awesome. 425 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,487 - Harmonica. 426 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:58,025 - Oh, could you not baptize my baby? 427 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,392 - Oh, I'm sorry. 428 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,161 Force of habit. 429 00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,429 - Glenn, if it's okay, 430 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,597 I might just be, like, ten minutes late tomorrow. 431 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,467 - Cheyenne, you are not coming to work tomorrow. 432 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,835 - I need the money, 433 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:11,538 and they said I would mostly be done bleeding by then. 434 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,274 - But you should be with the baby, though. 435 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,543 - It's okay. My mom can watch her. 436 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,445 I'm gonna leave her with some of my clothes, 437 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,547 so she can start to learn my smell. 438 00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:26,053 - Cheyenne, this is unacceptable. 439 00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:28,121 You've distracted us from our work. 440 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:30,623 You've left your insides all over the floor, 441 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,692 and now you've brought your child to work. 442 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,061 - Glenn, what are you-- - No, no, no. 443 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,062 I mean it. 444 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,529 You're suspended. 445 00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:37,964 For four weeks. 446 00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,332 With pay. 447 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,435 - But I-- - But? 448 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,237 You want to make it six weeks? 449 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,339 Okay, fine. Bam. Six weeks. 450 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,407 Paid suspension. 451 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,243 You want to keep going, missy? 452 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,145 - No, I'm good. 453 00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,313 - Good. 454 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:55,248 - I'm ready to go now. 455 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,349 [mouths] Thank you. - Bye, Harmonica. 456 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,384 all: Bye. 457 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,718 - Congratulations. 458 00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:03,356 [knock on door] - Yeah. 459 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,458 - Hey, Glenn. 460 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,528 I just wanted to say that what you did back there was awesome. 461 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,962 - Thank you. 462 00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:13,100 - Don't worry. You won't even notice Cheyenne is gone. 463 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,234 - I'm not worried. 464 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,103 It's not my problem anymore. 465 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:18,738 - What are you-- what are you talking about? 466 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,773 - Yeah, they let me go. 467 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,008 - What? - Yeah. 468 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,243 - They can't just fire you. 469 00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:24,777 You've given your whole life to this place. 470 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:28,115 - Don't worry, I'll still be in the store all the time. 471 00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,849 Just as a customer. 472 00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:32,152 I'll say stuff like, "Hey, can you tell me 473 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,953 where the dental floss is?" 474 00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:36,756 Well, probably not, 'cause I already know where it is. 475 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,858 Unless you decide to move it. 476 00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,028 - What? What are you talking about? 477 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,530 - They asked me if I wanted to make 478 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,332 a suggestion for my replacement, 479 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:48,501 and nobody knows this store better than you. 480 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:51,138 - Um, no. I'm not doing it. 481 00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:52,539 - Then they'll just get someone else. 482 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:55,007 - I don't care, Glenn. I'm not taking your job. 483 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:56,709 - Amy, wait! 484 00:17:56,709 --> 00:18:00,247 Someone is going to be in that chair tomorrow. 485 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:04,751 And that person has to take care of everyone in this store. 486 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:08,521 I'd rather that person be you than some stranger. 487 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,627 Amy, you're a leader, 488 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,497 and the people here need a leader. 489 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,766 Can you do that? 490 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,605 - Yeah. 491 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,939 I can do it. 492 00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,411 Jonah. - Ah, ah, ah. 493 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,612 You think I'm doing it wrong, 494 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,581 but if we stack them five wide and low, 495 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:38,351 they're less prone to toppling. 496 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,953 What's wrong? - They fired Glenn. 497 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,623 - What? - Yeah, so, um... 498 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:44,824 About that walkout. 499 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,627 Mateo. 500 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,061 Glenn got fired. We're walking out. 501 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,197 Are you coming? 502 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,198 - Yeah. 503 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:55,768 [upbeat music] 504 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:58,905 Sorry, was doing a teal and green story. 505 00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,440 - Garrett, all the employees 506 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,943 are leaving early because they're staging a walkout 507 00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,378 because Glenn got fired. 508 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,280 - Sure, man, that works. 509 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:11,117 - * Out here in the fields 510 00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:15,388 * I farm for my meals 511 00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:19,626 * I get my back into my living * 512 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:22,795 * 513 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:26,733 * I don't need to fight 514 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:30,970 * To prove I'm right 515 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,872 * I don't need to be forgiven 516 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,074 - You still have my credit card. 517 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,476 Hello? 518 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:44,517 * 519 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:49,822 - * Sally, take my hand 520 00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,858 * We'll travel south cross land * 521 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,327 - Oh, no, no. You guys do not have to do this. 522 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,495 Okay, you know what? I understand 523 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:56,696 that you're upset about Glenn. 524 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,831 I know and I get that. No, no. 525 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,300 Come on. Corporate cares. 526 00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,635 - Sure, Glenn. 527 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:07,674 Help yourself to a brand-new car, just this once. 528 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:08,775 Job's going great. 529 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,810 What could possibly go wrong? 530 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:17,884 * 531 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,353 - Is this gonna work? 532 00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,221 - I don't know. 533 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,257 But it's worth a shot, right? 534 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:27,327 - So what now? 535 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:34,367 * 536 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:37,404 [indistinct chatter] 537 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,377 - Attention, please. 538 00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,212 Listen up. 539 00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,847 I have something I'd like to say. 540 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,249 I know you're scared. 541 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,252 This is a big moment. 542 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,288 But rest assured 543 00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:59,091 Cloud 9 will be fine without you. 544 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,060 - Come on. 545 00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:02,962 - Anyway, I've demagnetized your keycards, 546 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:05,498 and you will receive your final paychecks in the mail 547 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,900 with the costs of your vests deducted from them. 548 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,837 Nothing personal. I wish you all luck, 549 00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:13,172 but I've got a store to manage. 550 00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:14,407 Thank you. 551 00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:16,376 This really cheered me up. 552 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,645 * 553 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,648 Oh, and have a heavenly day.